Almost everyone has heard the word “kinky”, but not everybody knows precisely what it means. Kinky is a type of liqueur, but it refers to sex too. A ‘kink’ is a bend in something. Saying something is kinky means it is “bending the norm”…when it comes to sex, that is. ‘Being kinky’ is to prefer eccentric, odd, or unconventional sex acts. A person that prefers a fetish, or something considered “taboo” may be (and probably is) called kinky!
When just starting out in the world of all things kinky, a lot of people try out some light bondage (furry handcuffs/collars/blindfolds), vibrators, role-play, or bring food into the mix. These are just a few examples of the beginner’s course. There are so many things in the world of sex that people enjoy, that it would take all day to name them all! However, some kinks are more common than others. Some less common kinks are using candle wax, burning, cutting, latex, watersports, breast-play, foot-play, and anal, although only some people consider anal to be kinky.
Being kinky depends on who you are. You don’t have to go to an extreme to be kinky. If you have never used restraints before, that would be a kink for you. Someone who is an explorer when it comes to sex and all the fun things you can use might consider “regular” sex (missionary with no devices or surprises) to be vanilla, or boring. The definition of a kink is to bend away from the norm. Sex with the lights on might not exactly be a kink, but sex with black lights and glow paint would be!
Some kinks are more widely accepted in today’s society for a variety of reasons. The age of information has opened many previously dead bolted doors; making it more acceptable to do things that may have once have even been considered illegal. This doesn’t mean that things these days are a sexual free-for-all. There are still kinks that are considered taboo, because everyone has their own preferences, and some people just can’t understand why other people like the things they do. Furry handcuffs, vibrators, and a romp in the car are all pretty common nowadays, whereas role reversal (pegging for example), sounding or latex are not widely spoken of in open conversations.
If you are wanting to explore the world of kink, but don’t know where to start, look into some of your fantasies! If you think about it, there are things we have literally only dreamed about doing, and as long as it is safe and consensual there is usually not a good reason not to do it! Role-playing is a great place to start. Nurse and patient, school girl and teacher, that type of thing. Pick up an outfit or make your own. It doesn’t have to be fancy, as long as you (and your partner) approve.
Have you ever watched porn? If you said no, watch your nose Pinocchio. Almost every adult, (We’re looking at you, fellas!) has watched porn. If you truly haven’t seen one, then I’m sure you’ve probably been at least a little curious! Watching an adult film with a partner can be kinky in itself, and what it can lead to can get even kinkier. Doesn’t that sound great?
Speaking of watching, have you ever been watched? Nothing beats live porn. If you are not comfortable giving your partner a live show, you could film it, or be the one watching! Another discreet and sexy way to do this is to have them “peep”. Instead of having them in the room with both of you knowing it, you could pretend to be unaware that they are watching. Have them in a dark corner or outside a window. If you pick the window option, use caution. You might have to explain exactly what you were doing to some nice officers.
Bondage intrigues many, but a lot of people get scared. “This won’t make her want to tie me up and peg me with a strap on, put a ball gag in my mouth, and beat me with a whip, will it?” This was an actual question from someone buying some restraints. Someone just like you who wanted to try bondage, but got nervous that it would lead to the extreme. The answer is always, “not unless you want it to!”
When trying out being kinky, only do what you want to do. Kinks are not for everyone, and not every kink is for everyone. Open communication with your partner is very important. You don’t have to sit down over brunch and discuss what devices and positions you would like to try next, but maybe lay out some ground rules of what makes each person uncomfortable and what you are ok with as of now. Maybe set up a safe word, so that if you two are trying new things, you each know when to stop if needed. Kinks can be buckets of fun, as long as everyone is safe and enjoying themselves in a consensual manner. No time like the present to get fitted for that gimp suit, right? Try something kinky today!