Dear Miss Annabelle,
I was raised that sex is private and shouldn’t be discussed (you know the phrase “everyone does it but no one talks about it”). My friends and I never bring it up in our girl talk and my husband and I hardly ever even use the word. I don’t think I should feel so weird about it because it seems so natural. Why is sex such a taboo subject?
It is true. So many people view sex as something bad or dirty. Sometimes it feels like society has locked sexuality behind a closed door and expects it to stay there. But with time comes change and with change comes awareness. These days, sex seems to be everywhere we look. And that doesn’t have to be taken as a bad thing.
The awareness you seem to have already discovered is that, really, sex is just normal. It is a natural bodily function. Just about everyone does it, in just about every way. Whether you do it alone or with whichever partners you choose: there is nothing wrong with it as long as everyone is keeping it safe and enjoying themselves.
People who are more open about sex tend to view the normal act as just that: an ordinary part of everyday life. It is necessary to carry on our species, and even better, it feels good. These open-minded individuals have taken the time to be honest with themselves about what they want and/or need to be happy in life, and sex can definitely be a part of that.
It could be that people who are more quiet about sex view it as something very personal and intimate. And it is, so there is nothing wrong with being quiet, but maybe you should start talking about it with those close to you. You definitely shouldn’t be embarrassed to talk with your husband about your sexuality. After all, marriage is one of the most intimate relationships you can have with a person. And once you start acknowledging the importance of sex, once you start asking questions and opening up the conversation, you will find that talking about sex will really bring you closer together.
And please, don’t forget, sex is normal!